Two stars
I dreamed this night of two stars coming toward one another in similar orbit across a black sky hovering over a dew-wet green field. When the stars met, I heard voices and felt as though this was a message from God. That on the following night when the stars would meet again, something significant would begin on this planet.
Later in the dream, I am told by religious folk that at the same time I saw the stars, misty tornados formed over the field. But when I tell these same people about the voices, they look at me as if I’m crazy.
Anyway, the dream has kept me up thinking about religion and messages from the divine and the what-ifs of “signs” from above. Also, something about a space-dragon, but I think that has to do with my own sci-fi made-up creature.
Sexuality?
I had a very strange dream last night that I was lying in bed with the drop-dead gorgeous Nicole Kidman and the attractive personality of Kathy Bates. I’m still trying to sort this one out. I remember thinking it was strange that Kathy Bates was there with us, but you’d think it’d be strange anyway. The dream seemed somewhat sexual in nature, but nothing obvious about my sexuality or any kind of weird secret crush on these two women. Well, my total girl-crush on Nicole Kidman isn’t secret. Maybe it was the tuna-pasta I ate before bed. This is one of the few times I wish I could consult with Freud.
Swept up in the current
I am with a group of criminals (or at least I get the feeling they are not so nice people), being herded down the embankment of the river at Niagara Falls. There are other people like me being moved along against our better judgement and there’s a sheep. The sheep falls into the water and I watch as it flails through the currents, but manages to catch some branches and get back to safety. Then one of the men bringing up the rear of the group swoops up the little lamb and I’m feeling hopeful he will return it to the shore, but suddenly he throws it out to the center of the river where it has no chance of survival. I can see it’s panicked eyes and it’s nose beneath the cold, clear waters. I contemplate jumping toward the center, but I know it is already too late and the sheep rushes past out of reach.
We are now swept up into a strong current along the shore and I can see a thin line of water that marks the edge of the earth; the line between life and death. The others are pulled over, but I manage to grab on to a white oven attached just beneath the ledge. The weight of my body on the current rips the door open and I fall.
Then suddenly I am walking up the trail toward the touristy shirt-shack in the woods and a woman on the shore hands me a stack of clothes to take with me. There are racks of shorts and shirts- only differing in colors of browns and oranges and other colors- and I as I enter the shack I am thinking of nothing but returning home. Inside the shack there are two workers who immediately stand back and say, “It’s happening again.” I set the stack of folded brown shorts down on the counter and turn to see them staring wide-eyed in my direction. I yell, “What?!” I am angry because I’ve already lived through a very bad experience and don’t want to deal with anyone being dramatic. They look frightened and this seems to anger me more. I step forward and my body brushes one of the racks. They watch the clothes moving and seem horribly frightened. It’s enraging to me. ”Why won’t you look at me?!” I scream. It feels so wrong that they will not look at me and that they seem so engrossed in the little things around them. As this continues I realize they cannot see me – that I am a ghost.
Afterward a man comes into the shack and wants to order some food at the counter, so I throw salt down on the table and play with him because it brings me some comfort when the living notice me. I pass my hand in front of another man’s face and he staggers backward – obviously aware of my presence. I am elated he can “feel” or sense me.
Wolves
There were initially two teams; one good and one bad. We were with the good-intent team, but run into the bad in the forest. They are under siege by a pack of wolves and it isn’t long before the entire group is killed by the wolves. They then turn on us. We lose some of our own group, but have remaining two or three people and a baby. We find an abandoned hunting shack and barricade the doors, but know it will only be a matter of time before the wolves return and once they do; we know we’ll all be killed. I am able to reach my mother by phone who underestimates the danger, so I ask her very directly to call in the National Guard, the Army, anyone who will be able to help. As the wolves begin to surround us (and a giant iguana too), the “troops” or friends of ours show up and we all stand there trying to convey the details of our experience. A holds me, but it is clear no one can truly understand. We had seen such death and none of us cared to relive it, so we held our tongues and took comfort in being surrounded by our friends and family.
Just a house?
All month long, it seems, I’ve had dreams of the Poe House. Last night’s dream involved a will and a family bible. The will was far older than the house dating back to 1776, but the bible was printed in 1913. I found them together in a box tucked just up inside the chimney.
In the dream, as we invited people to see the house (it wasn’t even ours in the dream); someone brought me a single daffodil which I planted along the walk. In the dream, the house sat atop a hill with large trees sheltering the front. The wide rails of the stairs were unchanged. I found an area rotting through which caused me to say to Erick, “See, there was a reason we didn’t’ buy the house.”
I need to make a trip to Wisconsin.
Mural
I dreamed last night of a mural in JM’s sister’s room. The room had a ceiling that sloped in on one side and the mural ran up toward the ceiling and featured the bay on a windy day. The water was churning all sorts of colors and K and M asked that I paint the room and surprise K with the colors. She preferred vanilla, she told me, but anything was open. I found a shade of blue-green that picked up highlights of the same shade in the mural and I also went out shopping with my step-dad and others and K’s friends and found a lounge chair/office-like chair and table. These items featured reds and didn’t really fit with the theme. K’s friends said she would love it.
This dream seemed very much about familiarity and finding a place in which to take solace. Home.
Four
The number four prevalent in my dreams the last two nights: Four thousand dollars, four hornets.
Yesterday we bought four keys. Just a strange feeling associated with the number.
Good Greif
Dreams of my father
Not Obama’s book, but dreams last night and in each, my father made an appearance. In the dream that stands out the most, I was trying to convince my father that I could replace his old cabinets with new ones and that it would brighten his home, but he wasn’t interested. This dream seemed significant in that I knew in advance I couldn’t convince him to change the cabinets, despite knowing it would help his mood. Part of the reason I wanted to change the cabinets was in my desire to show my father I could do it and for him to see I could bring joy into his life.
Hoartie
Last night I awoke from an urgent dream about Hoartie. I dreamed she was running around a pasture isolated from the other horses. We drove up into the pasture and I told Erick she was excited to see us. When I stepped out of the car, she ran forward and began biting my arm without breaking the skin – she was losing her mind. Liz was there and seemed to feel sad as if it were her fault Hoartie was ill. I felt like the message had come from Hoartie, but I was supposed to let Liz know everything was okay and that Hoartie was not angry or she would have bit through my skin. I also knew that Hoartie would suffer the same fate as her mother.
